12. Claire

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Claire

This can't be real. "Slap me."

Confused, Andrew asks, "What?"

"Slap me, Andrew! I think I took too many pain meds and I'm hallucinating. Wake me up. SLAP ME."

"What the fuck, Claire? You're awake—and I just asked you to marry me!"

"Is this some sort of joke, Andrew? Are you hoping to shock me into saying no so you're off the hook?"

"Baby, I asked you because I want to marry you—because I'm desperate to call you my wife. I want everyone to know it's you. It's always been you. I love you, Claire. Marry me. Please."

I want to marry Drew. I've wanted to marry him since we were only a few months into dating. But now... I'm not sure. I love him so much, but how long will he feel this way? How long will I matter?

"Yes, Drew. Yes, I'll marry you. Today."

I know, I know—what was that little mental monologue for if I was just going to say yes? Well, let's be real: he's the father of my child. I've loved him for years. He's rich, hot, and let's be even more real—I want to see Rebecca's face when she finds out I'm Mrs. Claire St. Claire. 

"Thank fuck, babe. You scared me! Okay, let me make some calls—see if we can get to the courthouse in the next hour."

Whoa. The next hour? I need time to do my makeup, my hair, and my nails. Just because it's happening at a courthouse doesn't mean I don't want to remember it forever. I still want it to be special.

"Drew, I'll need a few hours. I want to get my hair and makeup done. I also want Joy and Aiden there."

"Okay, baby. Can we shoot for 5 p.m.? It's 9 a.m. right now—will seven hours be enough?"

"Yes, babe. That's perfect. But... won't the courthouse be closed?"

"Oh, baby. If you think that's going to stop me from marrying you today, you have no idea who you're marrying. A couple of judges owe me a favor. I'll call one in today. Do you need me to help you get around? I know you're moving better, but I still want someone with you."

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This is a glimpse of the Drew I used to know—the one who would move mountains or pull down stars just to see me smile. It's scary to want it all back, especially when you know what it feels like to lose it. How long will he feel this way?

"Drew, I'll be fine. I'm about to call Joy and Aiden. Um, Drew... did you want me to sign a prenup or a contract to protect your money? I don't want you or your family to think I'm after your money. I'll sign it, I just ask for a few clauses:

If you cheat on me, I get half of everything. Doesn't matter if you cheat on me in a year or when you're eighty—I get half.

If we go our separate ways, I want shared or full custody. I never want to lose access to my children just because you can afford a better lawyer.

I would never—"

Drew cuts me off.

"No."

"No what, Drew?"

"No, you will not be signing a prenup. No, you will not be signing any contract besides a marriage license. You're not leaving me, and I will never cheat on you. And if I ever lose my mind and do, I'll give you everything."

Oh? Okay, hear me out—I'm not a gold digger, but Momma didn't raise no dummy either.

"Can I get that last part in writing?" I smile and smack his arm, but I wait for his answer, because yeah—that was definitely a serious question.

"Yes, baby. I'll have my lawyer draw that up, because I know we'll never need it. You are all I've ever wanted, C, and I'll do whatever I can to make you feel secure in us."

My Drew is coming back to me. I'm just not sure if I want to fully give all of me to him.

Does that make me an ass? Maybe.

But I want to give us a shot at being a family. I want my kid to have constant access to both Mom and Dad. And if it all crashes and burns, at least I'll be able to look in the mirror and say I gave it everything I had. That'll have to be enough.

"You do that. And Andrew? I love you. Please don't make me regret it."

Drew walks up to me, places his hands on either side of my face, and holds me gently.

"I won't, Claire. I may not be perfect, but I won't make you regret it. I'll see you at the altar, my love."

He kisses me deeply—so deep we both moan. His hands slide up under my shirt, but then he pulls away and leaves.